Dahil nasa mood akong magblog so samantalahin ko na.
Eto’t bumabalik ako sa dati, yung walang paki attitude ko, yung maskara ko sa lipunan ay nawawarak muli, so baka nawawala lang sa tamang pwesto.
Sabi ko mula ng Setyembre, growth period ko na to, nawala ako bigla, nadistract ako sa kalechehan ng paligid ko, conscious effort drei, para mabalik yung focus.
Mahirap dahil kelangan ko magyosi para makuha yun muli, ang sarap magyosi, mas madami akong nagagawa, stress reliever, at mas okay ako nun, pero nagsawa ako bigla sa yosi, dahil dyan wala na akong naakibay. Nawala uli ako sa focus.
Dati bawat galaw, pinapansin ko, bawat mali inaayos ko, bawat aral iniintindi ko, bawat salita sinasaulo ko, bawat experience tinatandaan ko. Lahat para matuto ako. Dahil ang di ko pagtatapos sa kolehiyo, nagiwan ng malaking butas saking pagkatao. Gusto ko matuto, sa lahat. Habang buhay akong kulang. Habang buhay akong gutom. Habang buhay kong inaasam matuto.
Mabuti yun, di ko lang magawa, dahil leche, andaming leche. Kelangan ko bumalik sa learning drei. Dun sa taong inaabsorb lahat. Diyos ko pahingi ng pasensya at pagiintindi. Buksan nyo po uli ang utak ko para matuto. Kelangan kong matuto, kelangan kong lumaki.
Dahil sa di ko pagtapos ng pagaaral prinessure ko na sarili ko para umayos. At bumaba din ang pagtingin ko sa sarili ko, nakakaapekto yun sa pang araw-araw kong buhay. May magmamahal pa kaya sakin? Kelangan kong tumalino. Tanggapin lahat ng musika. Matutong makisama sa lahat. Quick comebacks sa mga hipster. Magkaroon ng ibang paningin sa mga bagay-bagay. At isantabi yung mga kahinaan ko.
Makata? Hindi. Scribbles? Ewan, basta pukol lang ako ng pukol ng mga salitang maisip ko. Diyos ko tulungan mo po ako.
hi, pag nagbabasa mo to ngayon ibig sabihin nakita mo tong blog ko. Okay sinulat ko lang to kase di ko inaasahang magkikita tayo sa near future na matatandaan ko pa lahat ng kelangan kong sabihin sayo, kaya eto, lagay ko muna dito.
Una, patawad talaga sa lahat, alam kong sawa ka nang marinig to sakin pero kelangan sabihin, kelangang ulitin. Patawad sa boring at malungkot na dalawang taong relasyon, patawad sa lahat ng pagkakataong nasaktan kita, emosyonal at pisikal. Patawad dahil pinaiyak kita. Patawad dahil di kita napapasaya. Patawad dahil di kita inintindi. Patawad kung pakiramdam mo nu’y wala kang silbi. Patawad dahil masyado akong inconsistent, lalo na nung umpisa ng 2010, pagdating ng summer bumalik ako sa dati at lumala pa. Sorry talaga, sorry nung huling araw nating pagkikita. Sorry sa mga araw na nagemo ako pagtapos, lalo na yung mga post ko. Patawad.
Pangalawa, sori at binura kita sa facebook, kelangan ko lang gawin. Salamat sa pagbati saking kaarawan, pasensya di kita binati, kelangan ko lang din yun.
Ikatlo, di ko na kayang isulat mga sasabihin ko. Feel ko mas okay kung sabihin ko ng personal. Ayan pasensya malabo parin ako, pero atleast (o sana) di na katulad dati.
Ikaapat, naisip ko lang to idagdag, dahil natural akong emosyonal na tao (kahit di halata) at kelangan ko tong sabihin dito sa blog, naging parte ka ng buhay ko, andami kong natutunan sayo, namulat ako sa maraming bagay, at di ako nagsisising nakilala kita. Salamat sa mga haba ng pasensya mo nun sakin, salamat sa ilang pagkakataong ibinigay mo sakin, salamat mga ngiti at tuwa, salamat sa oras, at salamat sa pagiintindi at pagmamahal mo nun sakin.
Huli na, wag mo sanang isipin na di pa ko over sayo, medyo over na ko, mga 99% na kong over, 1% nalang natitira, siguro dahil yan sa mga panaginip at mga ala-ala. Andrama ko parin ba? haha ayun lang, wag mo sanang isipin na may mga patama parin ako sayo. So ayun. :[]
Basta miss ko na yung tinuring kong bestfriend.
Unga pala, madali talagang malaman kung sino mga lalakeng may gusto sayo.
Salamat sa lahat. Ingat ka parati. At goodluck sa buhay.
btw finally pinatato mo na din yang ecto. Noice.
I am a little, okay who’s kidding who, I am so disappointed at my friends for not remembering my birthday. I know people sometimes forget but these are my closest friends, these are my blockmates, and to think in the recent past we had these talks about MY freaking birthday, yes my birthday, because it falls after Valentines. Yes the most popular, most remembered post/pre-holiday-day.
But what pisses me off the most is that I have 2 other friends who share the same birthday as me that are our friends, the other one is our blockmate. Like, when I went to my friend’s facebook profile to put a greeting on his wall, I see our other blockmates greeting him like minutes ago. It makes me question our friendship. I even went all whiny-bitch and posted a ”Forever Alone” meme and whiny-bitchy status message thanking everyone who greeted me on me birthday.
Forgive me for getting hurt.
Also I do like to say thank you to all the people that did greet me a happy birthday:
My longtime closefriend since elementary, who introduced me to hentai and introduced me to the La Blue Girl series.
My Apollo bestfriends, you guys never fail me. I love y’all
Some of my old classmates, reunion guys? Also I do not look like Gloc9
Some of my blockmates, but I am still disappointed on you guys, I actually had to change my birthday to my real birthday for y’all to remember.
My relatives, nuf said. <3
My officemates, even though most of y’all are pricks, you guys are still part of my “growth” . Thanks
My bffs, thanks for making my post-relationship life a lot better, my recovery wouldn’t be as fast and as good if it wasn’t for you guys.
and my ex, even though I didn’t greet you on your birthday, but I was on a phase back then, even now.
AGAIN I SAY, BLOCKMATES I AM DISAPPOINT. NO REALLY, I GOT HURT.
Brgy. Krus Na Ligas
Pero mas malaking porsyento dito ang pagpoprocrastinate. Pero hindi, gumising ako galing sa isang masarap na idlip para lang gawin ‘to. May sakit ako pero pinipilit ko siyang gawin. Pwede namang iprint kaya tinext ko na yung officemate ko para sabihin na magprint nalang kami mamaya.
Required akong pumasok dahil sa trabaho at yung pangako kong magpapakain ako mamaya. Papasok akong basag at gagastos ako ng 1k para sa porteh. Gusto ko uminom.
Pero ano yung naririnig ko? Bakit hindi ko nalang ituloy yung paggawa ko kesa magsulat sa blog? Bakit ayaw mong lampasan yang kinasanayan mong hindi pagtapos ng trabaho? Bakit di nalang ako matulog kesa kung ano pa gawin ko? Related naman sa kurso mo yang trinatrabaho mo ngayon bakit di mo nalang tapusin?
Kase po:
1. Alam kong trabaho parin siya pero alternatibo lamang tong ginagawa ko ngayon.
2. Di siya gaanong importante, well hinde, importante siya, di ko lang siya trip gawin.
3. Kase nageenjoy ako magblog at maghahanap pa ko ng porn, importante okasyon ngayon kelangan ko magpaputok.
4. Oo nga pero magkukulay lang to ng pesteng mapa, asan dun yung thrill at growth na hinahanap ko? Asan? Asan?!
I am a crapper comforter friend.
Been hearing and seeing Bruno Mars’ song Grenade all over tumblr for quite some time now, and yet I never really bothered to listen to it. But just about 30 minutes ago I went to youtube and searched for the song. As I was listening to it, I had a flashback, then I suddenly realized something.. back in my previous relationship I swear I am willing and able to catch a grenade for her, but I wasn’t willing and able to change for her. Oh how stupid and blind I am. Now I am scared.
This started out as a mistake, 2 weeks ago during our breaktime my office bestfriend and I went out to go buy food and while we were waiting for it she suddenly asked me a question:
OBF: Drei sino trip mo sa office?
Me: si *****
Her eyes lit up in excitement, as if she was expecting that answer, but wasn’t expecting me to answer that fast. What can I say I like the girl, but OBF misinterpreted it as something as heavy as love.. or something like that.
The next 14 days our world was colorful. We were the talk in our division (and probably the whole office). OBF and other friend were all on us, trying to hook us to each other. Lakad in my vernacular. I’m not sure as to how she took it. As for me? I was just going with the flow, because to me, there wasn’t really anything. I was also (and still) considering some important factors like she was still with her boyfriend back then; if I was ready for a new relationship not to mention commitment; if I was sure of my feelings; we still ain’t that close; and I want to do it my way… blah blah blah.
But every now and then I look at her, I stare at her face in admiration. I listen carefully to everything she says, I criticize her small mistakes. I listen to her stories while looking at her eyes. Then I realize all the more reason why I’m not sure about my emotions towards her. Also this paragraph is so cheesy. Am I overselling? No. Everything written in the paragraph is literal.
But then there comes a time when we’re ourselves and only to each other, in our own litol world, not caring who sees, who hears. Our non-existent closeness suddenly materializes. Something from nothing, literally.
I hear a heartbeat and I’ll let you guys know if the beat grows.
I should’ve figured. It’s so stupid of me to not realize that by getting a driver’s license there is a corresponding drug test. Is my grammar right?
It’s been days since I last smoked weed, and it stays in our urinary system for like days or weeks, and in the bloodstream for weeks. A major setback in getting my license.
So starting now I will drink lots of water so that my pee will come out clean, and tea in hopes of magically flushing it out of my system.